Sunday, May 3, 2009

Crap: High Voltage

Crap Crank : High Voltage


1. Got to see the new Harry Potter trailer.

2. Got to eat good popcorn

3. ....

4. .........


1. Everything after the lights dimmed in the movie theatre.

Watching the movie was like finding out your diabetic father died drinking Coke Zero, because Coke Zero doesn’t do shit, you’ve invested your life savings in AIG and your dick was on fire. All at the same time, and then you wake up at work realizing it was just a bad dream. Only it wasn’t and you realize you also came to work naked.

That’s what Crap Crank: High Voltage was like, only a thousand times worse.

Here’s what you should do after you watch Crap Crank: High Voltage.

1. Soak your eyes and brain in a bucket of turpentine or bleach (you can also you Tide but be sure it’s industrial strength so that you can be sure that you cleaned out the garbage you just saw).

2. Warn everyone you know not to watch it. Do your part to save our community. It’s the least you can do, because I believe every person you prevent to watch Crap Crank: High Voltage is a step towards world peace.

3. Get back to scrubbing and soaking your eyes and brain for another good 3 hours or so.

This movie also had two of the worst taglines ever. EVER!

Behold the genius that is Hollywood.

He was dead...But he got better

Stay Charged, Stay Alive!

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